求几篇英语哲理小故事,带翻译,课前三分钟要用,急啊!
(1)与对手共事要小心。狮子邀请狐狸到山里打猎,答应把捕到的猎物给它一半,狐狸就去了。 到了山里,狮子堵住了唯一的一条退路,把狐狸吃了。(2)被贪害死。一个黑人在沙漠里没水喝已三天了,就在他将死时,他向上帝许了三个愿望。第一个是,下辈子能天天有水喝,第二个是,下辈子能成高贵的人,第三个是,下辈子能天天看女人的屁屁。上帝答应了他,后耒他就变成一只马桶了!(3)真正的领导。一个人去买鹦鹉,第一只鹦鹉会说两种语言,售价二百元。第二只鹦鹉会说四种语言,售价四百元。这两只都年轻又美丽。第三只鹦鹉年纪老了,颜色暗暗,羽毛散乱,标价八百元。这人问店主,这只鹦鹉会说八种语言吗?店主说:不。这人问:那为什么卖高价钱呢?店主回答:因为那两只叫这只老板呀。
英语小故事3分钟励志
有理义以养其心,则虽老而神明不衰。苟为不然,则昏于豢养,败于戕贼,未老而志衰矣。励志之士,可不戒诸。我整理了3分钟励志英语小故事,欢迎阅读! 3分钟励志英语小故事篇一 一只蜘蛛和三个人 After the rain, a difficult spider to the wall has been fragmented network, due to damp walls, it must climb the height, it will fall, which one to climb, repeatedly falling and… No. a person to see, and he sighed to himself: "my life as this spider is not it? busy and no income." Thus, he increasingly depressed. See the second person, he said: this spider really stupid, why do not dry place from the next to climb up to look around? I'll be as stupid as it can not. Thus, he becomes wise up. See the third person, he immediately spiders keep the spirit of war touched. So he has become strong. 翻译: 雨后,一只蜘蛛艰难地向墙上已经支离破碎的网爬去,由于墙壁潮湿,它爬到一定的高度,就会掉下来,它一次次地向上爬,一次次地又掉下来……第一个人看到了,他叹了一口气,自言自语:“我的一生不正如这只蜘蛛吗?忙忙碌碌而无所得。”于是,他日渐消沉。第二个人看到了,他说:这只蜘蛛真愚蠢,为什么不从旁边干燥的地方绕一下爬上去?我以后可不能像它那样愚蠢。于是,他变得聪明起来。第三个人看到了,他立刻被蜘蛛屡败屡战的精神感动了。于是,他变得坚强起来。 3分钟励志英语小故事篇二 自己救自己 某人在屋檐下躲雨,看见观音正撑伞走过。这人说:“观音菩萨,普度一下众生吧,带我一段如何?”观音说:“我在雨里,你在檐下,而檐下无雨,你不需要我度。”这人立刻跳出檐下,站在雨中:“现在我也在雨中了,该度我了吧?”观音说:“你在雨中,我也在雨中,我不被淋,因为有伞;你被雨淋,因为无伞。所以不是我度自己,而是伞度我。你要想度,不必找我,请自找伞去!”说完便走了。第二天,这人遇到了难事,便去寺庙里求观音。走进庙里,才发现观音的像前也有一个人在拜,那个人长得和观音一模一样,丝毫不差。这人问:“你是观音吗?”那人答道:“我正是观音。”这人又问:“那你为何还拜自己?”观音笑道:“我也遇到了难事,但我知道,求人不如求己。” 翻译: A person in the shelter under the eaves, Kuan Yin is to see through umbrella. The man said: "The Goddess of Mercy, Purdue creatures like you, take me for some how?" Yin said: "I am the rain, you no rain, you do not need my degree." The man immediately jumped out , standing in the rain: "Now I am also the rain, and the degree of me?" Yin said: "You in the rain, I am also the rain, I will not be poured, because there are umbrella; you are the rain, because No umbrella. why is not my own degrees, but my umbrella degrees. you want, the do not have to look for me, please umbrella brought to! "he will go. The next day, this person has encountered difficult for it to Kuan Yin temple. Entering the temple, it was found before as the Kuan Yin is also a person in worship, that the same individual look and Guanyin, no less. The man asked: "You are Guanyin it?" The man replied: "I is Guanyin." The man asked: "Why do you worship their own?" Guanyin laughed: "I have encountered a difficult, but I know " 3分钟励志英语小故事篇三 痛苦有时是上天的恩典 人在碰到困难时,很容易会沮丧。不过无论受到折磨或者痛苦,都不用因此失去信心,因为对你来说原本是很痛苦的事,其实是上天的美妙恩典。 The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. 在一场船难中,唯一的生存者随着潮水,漂流到一座无人岛上。 He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, 他天天激动地祈祷神救他能够早日离开此处,回到家乡。 and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. 他还每天注视着海上有否可搭救他的人,但却是除了汪洋一片,什么也没有。 Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him fromthe elements, and to store his few possessions. 后来,他决定用那片带他到小岛的木头造一个简陋的小木屋,以保护他在这险恶的环境中生存,并且保存他所有剩下的东西。 But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, thesmoke rolling up to the sky. 但有一天,在他捕完食物后,准备回小屋时,突然发现他的小屋竟然陷在熊熊烈火之中, 大火引起的浓烟不断向天上窜。 The worst had happened; everything was lost. 最悲惨的是:他所有的一切东西,在这一瞬间通通化为乌有了。 He was stunned with grief and anger. “God how could you do this to me!” he cried. 悲痛的他,气愤的对天呐喊着:神啊!你怎么可以这样对待我!顿时,眼泪从他的眼角中流出。 Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching theisland. 第二天一早,他被一艘正靠近小岛的船只的鸣笛声所吵醒。 It had come to rescue him. 是的,有人来救他了。 “How did you know I was here?” asked the weary man of his rescuers. “We saw your smokesignal,” they replied. 到了船上时,他问那些船员说:「你怎么知道我在这里?」 It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. 「因为我们看到了信号般的浓烟。」他们回答说。 人在碰到困难时,很容易会沮丧。 But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain andsuffering. 不过无论受到折磨或者痛苦,都不用因此失去信心,因为上帝一直在我们心里面做着奇妙的工作。 Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signalthat summons the grace of God. 记住:当下一次你的小木屋着火时,那可能只是上帝美妙恩典的表征而已。 For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,God has a positive answer for it. 在所有我们所认为负面的事情,上帝都是有正面答案的。
三分钟英语幽默小故事
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do youknow what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。 "妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。" 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声? 尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。 Jim’s History ExaminationUncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked himthings that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 Magic change 神奇变化 Gaga is a little duck. He is small, dirty and ugly. His friends don’t like to play with him. One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地)。 Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见)him crying and flew down(飞下来,落下来). She said, “Please don’t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.” Gaga told the truth(真相). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to become a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck’s body. She said something which the little duck didn’t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立)a good-looking duck. Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends
Who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人 A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”一个老师问她的学生:“谁是世界上第一个男人”“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.一个小男孩立刻大声说:“乔治.华盛顿。”“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently.老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生:“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”这个男孩子说:“因为,他是第一个挑起战争,第一个主张和平,并且是第一个深得民心的人。”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”这时,有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来,老师问他,“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.” 男孩回答说:“我不知道他的名字,但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿,因为历史书上说,乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了,所以在他之前,当然还有一个男的啦。”
THE LION AND THE MOUSE Lion was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up in anger, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: “If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness.” The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came up, and gnawed the rope with his teeth, and setting him free, exclaimed: “You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, not expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favour; but now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to confer benefits on a Lion.”1.狮和鼠一只老鼠从一只狮子面前跑过去,将它从梦中吵醒。 狮子生气地跳起来,捉住老鼠,要弄死它。老鼠哀求说:「只要你肯饶恕我这条小生命,我将来一定会报答你的大恩。」狮子便笑着放了它。 后来狮子被几个猎人捉住,用粗绳捆绑倒在地上。老鼠听出是狮子的吼声,走来用牙齿咬断绳索,释放了它,并大声说:「你当时嘲笑我想帮你的忙,而且也不指望我有什么机会 报答。但是你现在知道了,就算是小老鼠,也能向狮子效劳的。」
龟兔赛跑: It is the day of a big race.All the animals in the forestare watching the race,look at the two runners,Mr rabbit and Mr Turtle.Mr Rabbit says,"In the forest,no one is faster than me." When the race begins,Mr Rabbit runs faster.In a minute Mr Rabbit can't see Mr Turtle,so he stops and have a rest.Mr Turtle runs slowly,But he doesn't stop.When Mr rabbit is sleeping,Mr Turtle runs by. When Mr Rabbit wakes up,Mr Turtle is touching the finishing line.Mr Rabbit loses the race,and Mr Turtlewins the race. 今天是盛大的比赛日,小动物们都聚集在森林观看比赛,接下来要上场的是兔子和乌龟,兔子口出狂言声称林里没人比他跑得快。 比赛开始了,兔子跑得非常快,很快就把乌龟甩在身后了,过了一会儿,兔子看不见乌龟了,就停下来睡了一觉。乌龟跑的非常慢,但他一刻也不停。当乌龟爬过兔子身边时,他还在睡觉呢! 兔子醒来的时候,乌龟已经抵达终点了,兔子输掉了比赛,乌龟赢得了冠军! 出自 公众号:英语故事课堂来源
A Nail Or A Fly? An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding! 钉子还是苍蝇? 一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇,他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定帮他个忙。 于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里,老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止。
Who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人 A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”一个老师问她的学生:“谁是世界上第一个男人”“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.一个小男孩立刻大声说:“乔治.华盛顿。”“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently.老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生:“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”这个男孩子说:“因为,他是第一个挑起战争,第一个主张和平,并且是第一个深得民心的人。”But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”这时,有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来,老师问他,“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.” 男孩回答说:“我不知道他的名字,但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿,因为历史书上说,乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了,所以在他之前,当然还有一个男的啦。”
THE LION AND THE MOUSE Lion was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up in anger, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: “If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness.” The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came up, and gnawed the rope with his teeth, and setting him free, exclaimed: “You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, not expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favour; but now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to confer benefits on a Lion.”1.狮和鼠一只老鼠从一只狮子面前跑过去,将它从梦中吵醒。 狮子生气地跳起来,捉住老鼠,要弄死它。老鼠哀求说:「只要你肯饶恕我这条小生命,我将来一定会报答你的大恩。」狮子便笑着放了它。 后来狮子被几个猎人捉住,用粗绳捆绑倒在地上。老鼠听出是狮子的吼声,走来用牙齿咬断绳索,释放了它,并大声说:「你当时嘲笑我想帮你的忙,而且也不指望我有什么机会 报答。但是你现在知道了,就算是小老鼠,也能向狮子效劳的。」
龟兔赛跑: It is the day of a big race.All the animals in the forestare watching the race,look at the two runners,Mr rabbit and Mr Turtle.Mr Rabbit says,"In the forest,no one is faster than me." When the race begins,Mr Rabbit runs faster.In a minute Mr Rabbit can't see Mr Turtle,so he stops and have a rest.Mr Turtle runs slowly,But he doesn't stop.When Mr rabbit is sleeping,Mr Turtle runs by. When Mr Rabbit wakes up,Mr Turtle is touching the finishing line.Mr Rabbit loses the race,and Mr Turtlewins the race. 今天是盛大的比赛日,小动物们都聚集在森林观看比赛,接下来要上场的是兔子和乌龟,兔子口出狂言声称林里没人比他跑得快。 比赛开始了,兔子跑得非常快,很快就把乌龟甩在身后了,过了一会儿,兔子看不见乌龟了,就停下来睡了一觉。乌龟跑的非常慢,但他一刻也不停。当乌龟爬过兔子身边时,他还在睡觉呢! 兔子醒来的时候,乌龟已经抵达终点了,兔子输掉了比赛,乌龟赢得了冠军! 出自 公众号:英语故事课堂来源
A Nail Or A Fly? An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding! 钉子还是苍蝇? 一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇,他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定帮他个忙。 于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里,老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止。
英语幽默小故事7篇
若是你在学习英语的过程中感到很枯燥,不妨来读一些英语幽默小故事放松放松。英语幽默故事简短,内容诙谐幽默,情节生动有趣,相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事,供大家阅读参考。 更多故事相关内容推荐↓↓↓ 名人实现梦想的故事 简短励志的小故事 感动人心的故事 三分钟成语故事演讲 名人读书的故事 英语幽默小故事1 My husband,Michael,a bus driver,was passing a deserted bus stop when one ofhis passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to thecurb and opened the doors. 我丈夫,麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时,一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边,打开了车门。 After a minute,Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the streetslowly. 过了足有一分钟,麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖,慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。 He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps. 麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass,he beganto close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.” 趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫,麦克欲关门,老妇人阻止道:“等一会,我妈妈还在后面呢!” 英语幽默小故事2 Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host,preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, MyLove, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That isreally nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keepcalling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tellthe truth, I forgot her name three years ago." Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家,Bernie发现,不管问他老婆什么问题,Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼,象蜜糖,我的爱人,亲爱的,甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说,“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的,结婚这么多年了,你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头,小声地对Bernie说,“老实跟你说吧,三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。” 英语幽默小故事3 Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appearsfrom a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of"Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprisedlook and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster thanyou." 两个男人正在穿过丛林,突然,一只老虎出现在远处,向他们冲来。其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋,开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说,“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?”他的朋友回答道:“我不用跑得过它,我只要跑得比你快就行了。” 英语幽默小故事4 A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, andasked her what their names were. 一个女孩去拜访她的金发朋友,这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”,于是女孩问道:“它们叫什么名字呀?” The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was namedTimex. 金发朋友说,一只叫Rolex,另一只叫Timex。 Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? 女孩说:“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。” "HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!" “那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!” 英语幽默小故事5 Too Much Pressure For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too muchpressure from my job,but now I found out the real reason:I’m tired because I’moverworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million areretired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million inschool,which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 millionemployed by the federal government,leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 millionare in the Armed Forces,which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from thetotal the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and thatleaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188,000 people inhospitals,leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now,there are 1,211,998 people inprisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sittingat the table reading jokes. 压力太大 多年以来我一直感到很疲惫,我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是,我现在找到了真正的原因:我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8,500万人还在上学,工作的就剩下4,800万。这其中还有2,900万联邦政府雇员,真正做事的就剩1,900万人,又有280万人在服兵役,就剩下1,620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1,480万人,还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院,现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1,211,998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作,就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。 英语幽默小故事6 Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands." Economists can supply it on demand . You can talk about money without ever having to make any. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face . Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look howthey turned out . When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you arethere. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE". Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we gettaught that reward is its own virtue. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching thelaw of diminishing marginal utility. 学习经济学的九大理由 经济学家们会武功:“小心我们的无影手。” 经济学家们能够做到有求必应。 你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。 你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。 米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学,看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。 站在失业队伍里的时候,至少你会知道自己为什么失业。 假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母,你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。 伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报,在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。 喝醉了的时候,你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。 英语幽默小故事7 Nobel Prize in Economics Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize forsaying exactly the opposite thing. Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prizefor saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one. (A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi andCajal, maybe economists are not so different!) 诺贝尔经济学奖 两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖,这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。 或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖,这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言,缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。 (有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形,比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔,所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。) 英语幽默小故事相关文章: ★英语幽默小故事合集7篇 ★英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的 ★简短的英语幽默小故事 ★幽默英语小故事 ★英语故事带故事大全(带翻译) ★英语趣味幽默小故事 ★英语幽默故事小短文 ★幽默小故事英语 ★英语小笑话小故事短篇 var _hmt = _hmt || []; (function() { var hm = document.createElement("script"); hm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?8a6b92a28ca051cd1a9f6beca8dce12e"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s); })();
英语幽默哲理故事
英文幽默哲理小故事: 父子二人经过五星级饭店门口,看到一辆十分豪华的进口轿车。儿子不屑地对他的父亲说:「坐这种车的人,肚子里一定没有学问!」父亲则轻描淡写地回答:说这种话的人,口袋里一定没有钱(注:你对事情的看法,是不是也反映出你内心真正的态度?)After his father five-star hotel door and saw a very luxury imported cars.Son of disdain for his father, said: "The people who take such a vehicle, necessarily Moyouxuewen stomach!"Father answered lightly: say such things, certainly no money pocket(Note: Your view of things, is not it also reflects the real attitude of your heart?) Let me take it down An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen .""Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know." 为我所用一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行". (只为成功找方法,不为失败找理由)